"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you." (D&C 88:63)
Growing up, I learned a lot about what faith was and how it worked. But until I reached my teen years, I did not know how it applied in my life. I also learned that it was necessary for me to obtain faith on a day to day basis. This helped me to draw closer to the Lord.
As a small primary child, I had been taught that faith is like a small seed. When we plant it in the ground, we must nourish that seed with light, water, nutrients, and any other care necessary to help the seed to grow. As it grows, we are to continue nurturing it so that it may grow into its full potential. Take the Coast Redwood seeds for example. They are very tiny, only a portion of a childs fingernail, yet, when nurished, they grow into giant, majestic trees.
With our faith, we are taught to nuture it by studying the Bible and Book of Mormon, by praying, by obeying the Lord's Commandments-these are the things that increase our faith. Then we can reach our potential as we continue to grow in faith. I was taught this lesson many times as a child, and thought I understood it well enough to teach it myself! But, did I understand it well enough to teach it to myself?
In high school, I found myself asking, "What is faith? Is it necessary?" I knew the essential Sunday School answers to faith-It's believing in something you cannot see. But did I really understand what faith was? Was I willing to govern my life by believing in a greater Being that I could not see?
Trials came into my life on occassion, and I turned to my faith for support. It was miraculous to see the change in my life when I relied on faith. However, somewhere down the line I forgot how miraculous it truly was.
One day, as I photographed a wedding of a dear friend, the thought came into my head, "you should serve a mission." Woah, that was random. Nah-I'm too busy. I've got my life here. I love my friends. I love my job. I love being around my family. I love the new place I'm living in. I like the way my life is going. I don't need to serve a mission. I'm content with the way things are.
Again, the thought persisted. "You should serve a mission."
As I continued to photograph the wedding, I couldn't get this thought out of my mind! After about an hour, my parents showed up to the wedding to congratulate the bride, my friend Hannah. She beamed at them with such a happy smile, and the thought came into my head, "You will be as happy as Hannah. You should serve a mission." I pulled my parents aside, and told them of my decision to serve a mission.
They both appeared shocked and stunned. So was I!
The next week, I made multiple pro-&-con lists to compare my options of serving a mission, to my options of living the way I had been. I compared my job opportunities, school opportunities, dating opportunities, and spiritual opportunities. The following Sunday, I sat in church going over the list in my head. I opened my scriptures, and they fell to Ether 12. I read; "And neither at any time hath any wrought miracles until after their faith; wherefore they first believed in the Son of God."
"Joy, why don't you have enough faith to serve a mission?" I knew that the thoughts in my head were not my own. I knew they had come from Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost. It was a powerful confirmation to me that I had truly forgotten what faith was. I went home and began my missionary application papers that day. Though I knew leaving my family, missing my 6 younger brothers grow up, quitting school and a job that I loved, leaving my one and only adorable sister, and my loving parents-I knew that it would be difficult, and it would be a miracle if I could pry those precious treasures out of my hands for 18 months. But I am doing it. I am trying to live up to the potential that my Heavenly Father has given me. Sometimes he prunes me or cuts me down to shape me a certain way-and when he does, it's not always easy. However, I know that my Heavenly Father has led me here. It has been the greatest test of my faith.
One day, I will stand as a tall redwood tree, beaming to my Father above and say, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith."