This last Fathers Day gave me the chance to reflect on some of the life lessons my dad has taught me. My dad has always appreciated a modest appearance. Growing up he always taught me to dress in such a way that I would would feel clean, and never feel uncomfortable.
When I was in my first couple years of college, however, I thought I knew better than my dad. I had a beautiful black and cream dress that I loved. To my standard, I thought it was pretty modest. I thought, "Sure, it doesn’t have sleeves, but the straps are thick enough."
One day I was asked on a date to a black tie event by a very attractive young man. He had just gotten home from his mission a few months ago and I was very excited to go. I thought about the dresses I had, and tried a couple of them on to see which one I should wear. I finally settled on the black and cream dress. But worrying about what my dad would say if I wore the dress, I packed it into a bag and changed on the way to meet my date.
I wish I could say that immediately I felt bad or guilty for my clothing choice. But the truth is that I had a good time on the date. I felt comfortable and beautiful in my dress. My date complimented me on my dress as well! A few days later I was invited to a similar event-more casual this time. I thought I knew my standards well enough, and so I wore my favorite jeans and a cute top with, again, thick straps, but no sleeves. This time as I walked down the stairs to get my car keys, my dad walked in the door. He looked at me and then at the floor. He asked, "I hope you wearing a jacket. It’s cold outside."
But I knew my dad wasn’t asking me to wear a jacket because it was cold outside. I knew he was asking me to wear a jacket because my shirt had no sleeves. Annoyed, I went upstairs and got a sweater. He gave me a hug and told me to have fun on my date.
As I approached my date, he asked, "What’s with the jacket?" He knew that days earlier I had been fine wearing an immodest dress, and he was now wondering why I had chosen not to on this particular date.
I replied with the same excuse my dad had used. "It’s cold outside."
He told me to ditch the jacket and then we could go. Feeling pressured, I did. The entire night I felt so uncomfortable because I had compromised the Lord’s Standards (what should have been my standards too) and settled for what I thought was "cute" or "beautiful". But I was missing something vitally important—the light of Christ that makes me a daughter of God. That is what makes me beautiful.
I didn’t feel beautiful on my date. In fact, I felt ugly the entire night. I kept trying to find excuses for me to go home. Frankly, from the way my date had reacted about my clothing choice bothered me so much, that I didn’t want to go out with him anymore!
I knew my dad would be disappointed if he had seen my choice to dress immodestly. I also knew that Heavenly Father was sad by the choice I made to turn away from the standards He has given His daughters. The following weeks I thought about my commitment to the gospel and to the Lord. Was I willing to give up the standards of the world and obey the my Father in Heaven's standards?
President Gordon B. Hinckley once spoke to the Young Women of the World,
"Modesty in dress and manner will assist in protecting against temptation. It may be difficult to find modest clothing, but it can be found with enough effort... I do not hesitate to say that you can be attractive without being immodest. You can be refreshing and buoyant and beautiful in your dress and in your behavior. Your appeal to others will come of your personality, which is the sum of your individual characteristics. Be happy. Wear a smile. Have fun. But draw some rigid parameters, a line in the sand, as it were, beyond which you will not go."
Since this experience, I have learned that because I am a daughter of God, I have the sacred privelege to dress modestly, protect my spirit, and become the woman Heavenly Father desires for me to be. It has also challenged me to develop my personality. Dressing modestly has taught me to rely on making friends instead of making an impression. Lifting my standards has lifted me closer to my Father in Heaven.
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