Yesterday, Today and Forever

So I have this goal on my mission, to read the Book of Mormon 4 times the first year, and then 4 times the next 6 months.  It's been tough!  But I've learned a lot about the Book of Mormon.  I finished it about a month or so ago.  This past week, I started over. 
I have to admit-I didn't have the best attitude about it.  I thought, "I've read 1 Nephi so many times!  I should just skip over it."  I wish that had not been my attitude-because as I began to read, I had an entirely new perspective on the verses I was reading.  I learned that God really is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

In 1 Nephi, chapter 17, Nephi is commanded to build a ship by the Lord.  His skeptical brothers, Laman and Lemuel, mock him for trying to build a ship.  He tells them that the Lord has asked him to build this ship so that they can leave the wilderness and travel to a land of promise.  They ridicule him and continue to mock him.  Nephi relates to them the experience that Moses had with the Israelites as they were being led out of Bondage from Egypt. 

Nephi tells his brothers, "And they did harden their hearts from time to time, and they did revile against Moses, and also against God; nevertheless, ye know that they were led forth by [God's] matchless power into the land of promise" (verse 42).  He counsels them to NOT harden their hearts-but to listen to the Lord.  They again mock him.  I can't imagine Nephi's pain as he says, "O, then, why is it, that ye can be so hard in your hearts?  Behold my soul is rent with anguish because of you, and my heart is pained...If the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?" 

His brothers, Laman and Lemuel, then feel the power of the Lord upon them, and come to Nephi and say, "We know of a surety that the Lord is with thee, for we know that it is the power of the Lord that has shaken us."  His brothers begin to worship Nephi-but he turns them away.  In his humilty, he admits that he is just a man, and that they must worship the Lord their God just as the Israelites were asked to worship the Lord their God. 

I love this story-and it has opened my eyes to a new understanding about the Gospel.  As I read this, I thought about the people I am in contact with daily.   Many of them believe the miracles in the bible and believe that there once was a prophet.  But they have a difficult time when it comes to modern revelation, modern miracles, and modern prophets.  I have often wondered why that is.  When I read this chapter in Nephi, I began to see a correlation.  Even Laman and Lemuel struggled to have the faith, as we all often do, to believe that God is the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever.  Nephi tries to relate ancient scripture to his brothers, hoping that it will help them to understand that God is a God of miracles, and a God who will lead them to a far better land of promise.

I am grateful for this specific chapter because of the light it sheds on basic principles of the gospel.  The Lord will never turn himself away from his children.  It would not make sense if he just stopped giving us revelation when we are ready to receive it-so let's receive it!  When we search the scriptures for questions, the Lord will show us the things that we are ready to learn throught the Holy Ghost.  This is how he has always shown us the way to each of our individual land of promise.  As Nephi said anciently, "He leadeth away the righteous into precious lands.  He ruleth high in the hevens for it is his throne, and this earth is his footstool.  And he loveth those who will have him to be their God." 

Strength in the Dark

As I watched this, I thought about what a trial this young man had gone through.  I thought about his soft heart-how it must have broken.  Then I thought of Heavenly Father.  Though our hearts break when someone close to us passes away, our Father loves us enought to have prepared a way for us to see them again.  He also heals us in our weaknesses, and through His Son, Jesus Christ, we receive comfort.  "That he may succor his people according to their infirmities" (Alma 7:12).

Jesus Christ suffered all that we would have to suffer and endure in this life.  He did it so that he could send us help with we are in need.  Sometimes, just as Darren has wondered in this video, I've wondered if Heavenly Father really knows me.  But as soon as I question, a warm feeling rushes over me and I know that I am loved.  I know that my Father in Heaven strengthens me and pulls me into his arms.  His guidance is what I need to get me through every day, and His love is what leads me on.

I am so grateful for the knowledge the gospel brings.  I don't know why I am posting this video... it is very sad, but I am grateful for the youth of the church.  I am grateful for their examples of Christ-like love and patience.  I am grateful that they can be a beacon of light when so many of us struggle in this world.  Death is so dark-but I know that our Savior has gained victory over the grave.  I love Him for Redeeming us and allowing us to be together with our friends and family after we have passed on.

Right now, I feel warm.  I know God knows me, and I know he loves me.  I feel his warmth and his spirit.  I'm so grateful, and I'm just so happy.  I'm so happy that I don't have to be afraid of bad or scary things, because, like a child runs to his fathers arms when they're afraid or hurt, we can run to our Heavenly Fathers open arms.

Grateful for God's Plan

Yesterday, while working on facebook, my dad's status popped up on my home page.  Posted was the following:

"Funeral: I was called upon to conduct the funeral Wednesday for [Sister], a member of our ward. I started crying as the casket was to be closed. We will miss her. I sat next to Elder BK Packer who was the main speaker. It was an honor he would take time to come and speak."

My heart sank... I have known this sweet sister for a long time.  She is an incredible example of virtue, patience, charity, and diligence.  She truly is a woman who endured to the end.  She has served many missions with her husband, and has always been one to search for a higher education.  She loved to learn.

I am going to miss this sister.  I have so much respect and love for her.  I am grateful for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation-because I know that she is sealed to her family through the ordinances of the Temple, and that the bond will last throughout all eternity. 

O, Take and Seal It

Woke up at 6:20 today.  Sit ups. Shower.  Make up.  Hair.  Cereal.  Study.  Pick out a skirt.  Find a matching shirt.  That one.  No, wait, I don't like this skirt.  It's too tight.  It's too loose.  It's too long.  There, this looks decent.  Grab my shoes.  Fumble with the buckle.  Pack my Scriptures.  Smile.  Pray.  Smile more.  Downstairs.  Out the door by 10:00...

My mornings are routine.  My mornings are ordinary.  My life, however, is anything but normal. 

I spend my day talking to people about church.  I spend 10 hours of my day wearing a skirt, nametag-and carrying a book.  A book that is so precious to me, that I have allowed it to change my usually basic lifestyle into an exhuasting work day.  I've allowed it to change my routine, because when it changed my heart-I knew I had to share it's message. 

The task at hand is not easy.  Many people think of us as salesmen, and have no desire to hear the message of the Book of Mormon.  If only they knew how much happiness it could bring them!

I think of the blessing the Book of Mormon has brought to my life, and I just smile.   I am a debtor to my Savior and to my God.  He and his son have done all for me, and I know I owe them the sacrifice of serving a mission to them.  How could I not serve them?  How could I, after receiving so many blessings from the gospel, turn away and not spread it throughout the world?   I think of the song, Come Thou Fount by Robert Robinson (1735-1790).  The last verse explains my feeling of gratitude pretty well:

Antique Book of Mormon that has
 remained in my family for years

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

I owe so much to my Heavenly Father for this book.  For the blessings that it has brought to my life, and to the lives of those I am in contact with daily.  I have such a tendency to go astray.  I am prone to wander.  It doesn't mean I love God any less-just that I have a weakness, that through His grace I can overcome.  My heart is sealed in the Book of Mormon.  My heart is sealed as a testimony of love to my Heavenly Father. 

Emma Bean

Alright folks, it's that special time of year again--MOTHERS DAY!  This year I'm celebrating it a little differently.  I'm approximately 1,300 miles away from my mom this year, on this grand adventure of a mission.  I love being a missionary-but I sure do miss my mom. 

My mom's name is Julie.  She's a superhero.  She deserves every motherly award out there!  A little background on her... She is a nursing professor and a private college, as well as a forensic nurse.  She has raised 8 children in the gospel, and had a beautiful and successful marriage to my sweet Father.  My mother is a very gorgeous little lass, and I am grateful to have her genes! 

One of my favorite memories of my Mom is when she would read me a book called Emma Bean.  She use to sit on the edge of my bed and read that book to my sister and I.  It was a favorite of mine.  The book starts out, "There once was a bunny named Emma Bean, and she had a girl named Molly."  Molly loves Emma Bean.  She takes her everywhere she goes.  They play games, and Molly tells Emma Bean her deepest secrets.  The two have been inseperable since Molly's birth-but as Molly gets older, she begins to leave Emma Bean at home.  Emma Bean patiently waits for Molly's return, however, knowing that she will always come back to Emma Bean.

Right now this story reminds me of my Mom.  She's kind of like my Emma Bean, and I'm kind of like her Molly.  I know she's my mother-but she's also my dear friend.  She and I play goofy games together, and I can tell my mom ALL of my secrets.  My mom knows I will come back to her-and while I'm on life's great adventures, she just waits patiently, supporting me through all of my endeavors.  She knows I will one day come back to her and tell her all of my secrets. 

I miss my friend-my sweet sweet mother.  The first thing I will do when I see her, is ask her to read Emma Bean together.  Though its reverting back to my childhood-it is one of my most treasured memories of her. 
Mom I want you to know how much I love you.  I have so many memories with you-and I am so grateful that they are all happy ones.  My heart is so warm just thinking about your sweet smile, and your tender heart.  You are my mother, and I'm so grateful that my Heavenly Father sent me to you!

There once was a Mom named Julie, and she had a little girl named Joy...