The Modest Moustache: Friends on Modesty

 "Knowing the kind of guy my dress attracts. If it was revealing, the guy would generally have low morals and low expectations of himself and me. But when I dress modest, I know his attention is on me and not my immodest apparel. His standards are also higher, so he'll treat me with better respect."

"Well for me, I know that dressing modestly prepares me for the Temple, and why would I so drastically change my standards of dress then? Just like we prepare spiritually, we need to be preparing in every other way to show that we understand and are ready to make that commitment. I know that Heavenly Father is mindful and blesses us when we make a diligent effort to respect our bodies in a world that makes it inconvenient! Plus, I could still keep the same cute clothes and not have to get rid of any--I will be avoiding a difficult transition :)"

Modesty helps me to remember the convenants that I have made with my heavenly father. It also helps the people you are around have a great respect for you. If you are dressed immodestly people tend to degrade your opinion they way that they feel you degrade yourself and therefore your opinion is not as valid. Mostly though it is because I love my heavenly father and I know that I would want to be dressed modestly in his presence.

To be an example to my girls and the youth. It is possible to be immodest, even after going to the temple. I also respect myself and want others to respect me, too.

Lately - my aging body ;o) Oh, and I heard this at church a couple of weeks ago. If you dress like a circus, you'll attract a lot of clowns. I think that sums it up for me.

One of the reasons I dress modestly is because it helps me love my body. In this day and age so many woman struggle with body image issues and body dysmorphic disorder. Why do you think that is? Because society has crazy expectations of how... we should look and in clothes that are too small, short, and revealing. If you ask me.. society has body dysmorphic disorder. Dressing modestly helps me not have unrealistic and crazy expectations of my body. Helps me love it for the way it is. Looking back on my life I have loved my body and felt the most beautiful when I was dressed modestly.

I'm motivated by the fact it's a challenge to find modest clothing :) seriously though, I dress modestly because I feel better about myself. I don't have to worry about showing too much if I have to go somewhere. I see all these girls/women who constantly have to check to make sure their clothes are covering everything to avoid an embarrassing situation.

Because I like to be able to say "modest is the hottest!!" Hahah :)

The Modest Moustache: What's with the Jacket?

This last Fathers Day gave me the chance to reflect on some of the life lessons my dad has taught me.  My dad has always appreciated a modest appearance. Growing up he always taught me to dress in such a way that I would would feel clean, and never feel uncomfortable.

When I was in my first couple years of college, however, I thought I knew better than my dad. I had a beautiful black and cream dress that I loved. To my standard, I thought it was pretty modest. I thought, "Sure, it doesn’t have sleeves, but the straps are thick enough."

One day I was asked on a date to a black tie event by a very attractive young man. He had just gotten home from his mission a few months ago and I was very excited to go. I thought about the dresses I had, and tried a couple of them on to see which one I should wear. I finally settled on the black and cream dress. But worrying about what my dad would say if I wore the dress, I packed it into a bag and changed on the way to meet my date.

I wish I could say that immediately I felt bad or guilty for my clothing choice. But the truth is that I had a good time on the date. I felt comfortable and beautiful in my dress. My date complimented me on my dress as well! A few days later I was invited to a similar event-more casual this time. I thought I knew my standards well enough, and so I wore my favorite jeans and a cute top with, again, thick straps, but no sleeves. This time as I walked down the stairs to get my car keys, my dad walked in the door. He looked at me and then at the floor. He asked, "I hope you wearing a jacket. It’s cold outside."

But I knew my dad wasn’t asking me to wear a jacket because it was cold outside. I knew he was asking me to wear a jacket because my shirt had no sleeves. Annoyed, I went upstairs and got a sweater. He gave me a hug and told me to have fun on my date.

 

As I approached my date, he asked, "What’s with the jacket?" He knew that days earlier I had been fine wearing an immodest dress, and he was now wondering why I had chosen not to on this particular date.

I replied with the same excuse my dad had used. "It’s cold outside."

He told me to ditch the jacket and then we could go. Feeling pressured, I did. The entire night I felt so uncomfortable because I had compromised the Lord’s Standards (what should have been my standards too) and settled for what I thought was "cute" or "beautiful". But I was missing something vitally important—the light of Christ that makes me a daughter of God. That is what makes me beautiful.

I didn’t feel beautiful on my date. In fact, I felt ugly the entire night. I kept trying to find excuses for me to go home. Frankly, from the way my date had reacted about my clothing choice bothered me so much, that I didn’t want to go out with him anymore!

I knew my dad would be disappointed if he had seen my choice to dress immodestly. I also knew that Heavenly Father was sad by the choice I made to turn away from the standards He has given His daughters. The following weeks I thought about my commitment to the gospel and to the Lord. Was I willing to give up the standards of the world and obey the my Father in Heaven's standards?

President Gordon B. Hinckley once spoke to the Young Women of the World,

"Modesty in dress and manner will assist in protecting against temptation. It may be difficult to find modest clothing, but it can be found with enough effort... I do not hesitate to say that you can be attractive without being immodest. You can be refreshing and buoyant and beautiful in your dress and in your behavior. Your appeal to others will come of your personality, which is the sum of your individual characteristics. Be happy. Wear a smile. Have fun. But draw some rigid parameters, a line in the sand, as it were, beyond which you will not go."

Since this experience, I have learned that because I am a daughter of God, I have the sacred privelege to dress modestly, protect my spirit, and become the woman Heavenly Father desires for me to be. It has also challenged me to develop my personality. Dressing modestly has taught me to rely on making friends instead of making an impression. Lifting my standards has lifted me closer to my Father in Heaven.

The Modest Moustache: Intro

The summer is here!  Guess what that means... it's time to review the Lord's standards on modesty. :) 

Too often the world teaches us to base our self esteem on the way we look, instead of who we are.  There is so much I have to write about this subject, so it's going to be a mini series.  

I titled this series of posts The Modest Moustache.   Why?  Because a moustache covers up your face.  It's cleanly trimmed, and neatly combed.  We should dress like a moustache.  We should be covered up, neat, and clean.

First, I wanted to start with this simple statement from the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints...

Reading this made me reflect on some of my clothing choices previous to serving a mission.   Some of my experiences with the principle of modesty will be recorded in this series.  Other posts will be of things I found about dressing modestly that were unique.

 I hope that those who read will take caution in the way they dress and present themselves. 

The Family is Ordained of God

Some twenty-plus years ago, my family started.  My parents were married, sealed for time and all eternity in a Temple of the Lord.  I have 7 siblings--all of us are so different from one another.  Together we make up (what my dorky dad calls us)
the Valentine Clan! 

I've come to love this title.  Our little band has bonds that will never be broken.  We stick together-thick and thin.  We love being with one another and appreciate the differences we have because it makes us who we are. 

All throughout time God has taught parents how to raise their children to be good citizens, loving neighbors, and eventually, how to return home to Him--our Father in Heaven.  In modern days He again speaks to prophets who are able to teach us the ways of this life to obtain ultimate happiness after this life. 

That way to ultimate happiness is through the family.